House Rules

Most people I've played Monopoly with put money from fines in the middle of the board and give it to whoever lands on "Free Parking" next.  You won't find that in the rule book.  It's a "house rule" that people have agreed to.  Imagine a Monopoly game that erupts into a fight every time someone lands on Luxury Tax because we never agreed whether or not the money goes in Free Parking.

In our homes we have hundreds of house rules.  Where do we keep the remote, the bread, dirty socks, etc?  Who mows the lawn?  Do we rinse off plates before we put them in the dishwasher?  How are the finances managed?

If we clearly communicate and respect each other, we establish house rules that make home life work well for everyone in the house.  However, some couples allow stuff they've never agreed on to be a source of conflict for years.  If we don't agree on how our money is managed, we will have opportunity to fight over money all the time.  It's like having spots on the Monopoly board that are automatic triggers for fights.  Land there and the fight it on!

The dumbest argument that Shirley and I ever had was a few days before we were married.  Someone gave us some money and told us to buy a set of sheets.  In the house I grew up in a set of sheets was two flat sheets and two pillow cases.  In Shirley's it was a fitted sheet, a flat sheet, and two pillow cases.  We didn't know about the difference until we started to pick out sheets.  To fully appreciate how dumb this argument was, you need to know that we were 18 years old and that my Mom made my bed until I was married.  I knew nothing about fitted sheets and almost nothing about making beds, but I thought my Mom was smart and there must be some good reason for using a flat sheet on the bottom.  I'm ashamed to say I won the argument and we walked out with two flat sheets and two pillow cases.  Shirley always hated those sheets but at least one of them is still around in our rag bag. We have gotten much better at resolving differences since then.

One of the reasons that staying with parents can be stressful, especially for those recently married, is the existence of house rules.  If you're in your parents' home you know all the house rules.  If you're staying with your in-laws, there are many house rules you don't know and you can feel like a fish out of water.

Communication and respect for each other are what we need to agree on house rules that work for both of us and let us go around the board with a minimum of conflict.